to the realization that I am a relationship type of girl. 

I have never been the type of girl to be tied down easily, but I acted like it. I thought I was acting all grown having my boyfriends and then the boys on the side. I wasn’t. I was young, naive, and still getting the ropes of relationships. 

I’m not gunna lie, I was a cheater. Honestly, though, it’s because I thought it was an alright thing to do and after I learned it wasn’t, I couldn’t break the habit. Every boyfriend I had, up until high school, had cheated on me. I was your classic little mexican chola tease. I went through my slutty phase.

I don’t hook up with guys like I used to and I don’t really want to. Don’t get me wrong, I wanna get it in and everything, but I want it to be with someone who is actually gunna hang out with me and talk to me. No more one night stands or friends with benefits.

I want him to who’s gunna make me feel worth it;

I want him to actually be interested in my well being;

I want him to be nervous to meet my family;

I want him to love my flaws;

I want him to mean it when he tells me he cares and misses me and loves me;

I want him to be special to me;

I want him to do the little things;

I want him.

It’s the tedious waiting and plucking out the bad seeds that I want to avoid. 

I jump at relationships and don’t consider if the boy will treat me right or if I even really like him in that sense. I’m quick to trust people and quick to take that trust back. I don’t want to worry about whether I can trust them or not.

I will find that boy that I am comfortable with no matter what. Everything will be close to perfect eventually and I can’t wait for eventually with him:]